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YOU MUST WRITE IT DOWN. This is not a wedding toast. In grief, people ought not be forced to wander through memories that may not be acute, well framed, and, above all, purposeful.
There's always a lot we could say when remembering someone, but I'll do my best to make this brief.
My mother loved her family and friends. Sometimes her private streak could put people off, but her motives were never malicious. She often showed a compassionate, open heart.
She liked to keep current. She liked to read and had a curiosity that drove her to learn computer skills that eluded other people of her vintage.
It was Mom's wish that she have a small private service for those closest to her to come to terms with her loss. On this matter she showed her inclination to think of her immediate family without attaching much drama to the matter. It was touching to hear her request this when neither of us wanted to dwell on the subject. But the simplicity of this memorial service is in keeping with her self-effacing nature.
She liked to keep thoughts of God and eternity private, and would avoid the subject when anyone brought it up. But we know that this moment is just a step in one's journey, and that, in a most real sense, this is the beginning of life.
In Isaiah 25:8, we're told that death is swallowed up in victory...There is no "loss" here. We know where she is, and she knows where we are. This is the way of life for the Believer.
[EDIT]
On the surface, my mother, Molly would not impress many as an extraordinary person. She was a loving wife and mother, a capable homemaker, a good and kind soul. But beneath her mortal cover, Molly was truly remarkable in many ways. In her heart was excessive love, unyielding faith and the courage of a thousand armies. In her mind was the everlasting thought, "how can I give?" She sought always to be a friend, a helping hand, a uniter, never to be a burden or a divider. Her soul was warmed by the fire of hope and lifted with the excitement of joy. Every day she spent on this earth she knew was a gift from God and she willingly passed that on to all whom she touched. I don't suppose to speak for her. I don't have to, as her life spoke plainly: "Keep your faith. It will never fail you." Hold all you know in love closely and dearly and give all that you can, with all of your heart, every hour of every day. There is the path to peace and joy. I know my mom would not want us to be sad today, though it is impossible to let her pass without many, many tears. But please pledge with me today, because I know she would want it this way - remember her only in joy and happiness. That is the gift she leaves for all of us. Keep her in your heart and hold on tight!
For Grandpa:
"Sorrow comes in great waves...but it rolls over us, and though it may almost smother us.it passes and we remain." - Henry JamesMy Grandpa was a humble man; he never liked to be the center of attention. In life and now in death, he wouldn't want us to focus on him. He wouldn't want us to focus on the sadness of his death, but instead focus on the happiness in our lives. He would want us to appreciate each other and our future.
Finally located a favorite 4th grade songbook, after a 5-year search, on the clues "green cover, songbook" and some of the vintage song titles. It was something that held a lot of meaning for her, and would frequently ask if I had found it based on the scant clues she had given.
Video, Annie Get Your Gun; out of print until 2006, when this artifact was successfully scavenged.
Google: "a eulogy" "i remember" - 020915
Several Eulogy texts - http://www.123helpme.com/search.asp?text=Eulogy