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U.N. OVERTHROWN BY PATRIOTS

Pickup Trucks Surround Buildings, Scare Away Delegates

After 55 years of planning a One-World-Government, the U.N. was finally forced to call it quits when 25 to 30 pickup trucks drove continuously around New York's United Nations building. "It was an extremely well-executed coup," declared one of the former delegates. "I'd say they must have been the best of the 'Patriot' movement in this formation. Broken beer bottles all over the place, the lawn's all dug up from those oversize tires they like to put on their trucks... just look at the place: it's a mess! We had no choice, we had to leave," he concluded in a crestfallen tone.

Blasting banjo gitaway music over multiple PA amplifiers during the first 20 minutes of the siege, finally the designated driver cleared his throat and made his formal declaration to the U.N., or, "the New World Order trespassers":

"We've had enough of your shit. We tried arguing with you, writing to Congress, joining 'societies' to mobilize your expulsion, and we never see anything happen. We're done playing games. We're not going to play host to the devil's footstool. You're going to pack up and get out right now, or we're coming after you satanic blood-suckers one-by-one."

"Well, what can you say?," stated an Angolan delegate. "We were shocked. They were doing 'donuts' on the lawn with their trucks. How much of that can you take?"

"We did our best to destroy America's sovereignty and to hide the evidence," said another delegate. "We got 'found out', that's all. It's over."

"F--king American pigs, I tell you, you were going to be our slaves!," stated another U.N. employee as he did his best to run through a hail of buckshot. "You wouldn't believe how intricately we had worked this all out," he continued. "And this is how it ends? Being shot at by people who were going to wash our feet in the New Order? F--king American swine, I hate you all!"

The concluding remarks by the Patriot movement's spokesman put a formal touch onto this transition of power back to the citizens: "This shit might play in Europe. And it's a fact that there are a lot of American traitors who also were responsible for letting this abscess remain on our soil. 'Masons' in the guise of 'Presidents' and other government officials, and similar forms of treachery. Well, there's a Real America out there, one that just won't tolerate lying bullshit like this to enslave us. If the rest of the world wants to kiss the devil's ass, then they can keep their damn U.N. over there. But don't try to push that crap on us unless you want a nice spray of hot lead."

Does the group have any future plans? "Oh, maybe we'll just stop by Alan Greenspan's place and say, 'Hey!'"

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